Schrader wins Tour de Minnesconsin

Phil Schrader looked fresh in his first major challenge of the season, as he cruised to a first place finish in the "Tour de Minnesconsin." Schrader radiated poise, leading from start to finish on the grueling four-stage, 290 mi. course. "You'd never even know he was racing," remarked one onlooker during a one of the leader's frequent stops to eat, pee, or just sort of look around.

This year's Tour de Minnesconsin led off with the traditional 50 mi. individual time trial from Minneapolis to Northfield, MN, before setting off for the Wisconsin boarder. In the first leg of stage two the field battled a sharp cross wind to Cannon Falls at which point the entire pack took advantage of the shelter afforded by the Cannon Valley trail and flew on to Redwing. There Schrader, the savvy veteran, shocked fans by stopping to cook lunch in the city park and read the first chapter of Don Quixote. By the end of the stage, across the river in Stockholm, WI, the gamble had paid off and Schrader retained the leader's blue jersey-- despite two Mother's day phone calls and a stop to read about "Maiden Rock" en route.

The only signs of strain in four stages of brilliant riding came the following day in the challenging Stockholm - Chippewa Falls leg. Heavy winds, cool overnight temperatures, and a pair of not really very insulating trash bags led to a very early start for the field. Schrader looked solid though the rolling hills to Durand and also on the hot, flat run into Eau Claire on the Chippewa River Trail. The last bit of riding, from Eau Claire to Chippewa Falls, proved the toughest of the day, perhaps of the entire race. Afterwards a frustrated Schrader vented his frustration. "I mean, you think of the two cities as basically connected, right? But then you hit Eau Claire and find out that there's really no good way to get to Chippewa. I want to thank Google Maps and my brother Drew for their help in the last 15 miles or so."

The entire field was treated to a rest day on Tuesday and the generous hospitality of Nate and Brianna soon-to-be Henderson. "We're always happy to help out, it's a great-- but really pretty stupid-- event which gives us a good excuse to go out to dinner," remarked the couple.

Schrader rode unchallenged on the fourth and final stage from Chippewa Falls to Winona, MN, on a beautiful route that followed the Buffalo and Mississippi River Valleys and culminated in a trip to the Winona Hospital-- where Schrader's mom works. The rider celebrated his win with a relaxing couple of days in nearby La Crosse, WI, several dog-walks, cups of coffee, and bullshitting sessions with his folks, before hopping the train back to the cities.

The win couldn't have come at a better time for the rider-- just weeks after training partner and Slab City manager Tom Church's stunning decision to cut Schrader from the team's Woods to Water squad. Said Churchie, "We hope to see Phil looking fit and strong come fall at the TCM, but right now I wouldn't trust him with a trip to Target, let alone three 5k legs in the Chaquamanogonnaworkhereanymoregan." Schrader refrained from commenting on Church's comments, but did bore reporter's ears off with a multi-digressional, unprovoked speech on organizational dynamics, beauty, and watchmaking.